Do I Have to Let My Ex’s New Partner Babysit My Kids?

 Posted on October 10, 2025 in Child Custody

Divorce or separation does not end parental responsibility or concern for children. In many cases, this concern only grows once the kids are spending time with only one parent, away from the watchful eye of the other.

One of the most common questions that parents face after a divorce is whether they have to allow their ex’s new partner to babysit their children. Many parents feel uncomfortable at the thought. Worries about neglect or abuse, different values, or the threat of replacement can make an ex’s new romantic partner a sensitive and unsettling issue.

If you are in this situation and want to know what your options are, the first thing to do is make sure you understand the law in Illinois and how Courts approach this issue. Our Rolling Meadows family law attorney offers free consultations and can explain your rights and responsibilities when it comes to child custody and an ex’s partner.

What Illinois Law Says About Letting Your Ex’s Boyfriend or Girlfriend Babysit Your Kids

In Illinois, child custody and visitation decisions are guided by the best interests of the child standard. The Court’s primary concern is always the safety, stability, and emotional well-being of every child in every case. That being said, Courts generally assume that parents will act in the child’s best interest, including decisions about who takes care of the child during parenting time.

Courts like to see parents create their own parenting plans without court intervention. One benefit of doing this is that divorcing parents can create parenting plans that align with their values and their vision for their children’s future. Parents who are worried about having romantic partners come and go can ask for clauses setting limits around this sensitive subject.

For example, parents might draft a parenting plan that specifies when and how a new partner can spend time with their kids. This might include clauses saying: 

• The parent has to have dated the new partner for a set amount of time before introducing the partner to the kids

• The new partner has to meet the other parent before meeting the kids 

• The new partner cannot be alone with the kids unless the other parent consents 

• The new partner cannot spend the night when the kids are there

If you are in the process of getting divorced, now is the best time to set limits around who can spend time with your children and what that will look like. Once a parenting plan is approved by the Court and the final divorce decree is issued, the entire decree is legally binding. Both parents must obey the plan unless it is changed in Court.

Can I Stop My Ex’s Partner From Being Around My Kids?

If you are already divorced and currently have concerns about what is going on when your kids spend time with your ex’s partner, you have a few options.

The first option is to have a conversation with your ex. When people start dating after a divorce, they often have overly optimistic ideas about how great their new partner is. You will likely not share this optimism, and your ex may be understanding of your hesitation. Together, you may be able to work out reasonable boundaries without going back to the courtroom. If necessary, your attorneys may be able to help you mediate your disagreements so you can come up with a good compromise.

If this does not work, you may need to show your ex that you are serious about taking the issue to Court. However, you need to be aware that Courts will be looking for evidence that your concerns are legitimate. To make a strong case that being around your ex’s new partner is not in your child’s best interests, you should be writing down details every time something concerning happens. For example, if your child shares a troubling incident with you, write down everything you can remember about it. This will help you make your case.

Will a Court Tell My Ex to Keep Their Boyfriend or Girlfriend Away From My Children?

Courts can and do tell parents not to bring new partners around their kids, but only when the situation merits it. When a Court must decide whether an ex’s new partner can babysit, Judges evaluate several factors, including:

• The safety and background of the new partner, including any criminal convictions 

• The length and seriousness of the relationship

• The child’s comfort level and any prior concerns or objections

• The history of the ex-parent’s care and judgment

• Any existing court orders regarding custody or visitation

The Court’s goal is not to punish the parent but to ensure that children are supervised appropriately and not placed at risk.

What Should I Do if I Think My Ex’s Partner is Abusing Our Kids? 

If you suspect that your ex’s partner is abusing your children, you need to take the situation seriously and act quickly. Start by documenting any signs of abuse, including physical injuries, changes in behavior, or statements your children make.

Next, contact your local child protective services or law enforcement to report your concerns right away. They can investigate and ensure your children’s safety. If you are worried about physical violence, avoid confronting your ex’s partner directly.

Talking to a family lawyer can help you understand your legal options, including asking for an emergency protective order or parenting plan change. Your children’s safety should always be the top priority.

Call Our Rolling Meadows, IL Child Custody Lawyer

Concerns about your ex’s new partner babysitting your children are common. If you are in this situation, you should approach your next steps with caution. Do not prevent your child from going to the other parent’s parenting time without talking to a lawyer first. You could get in serious trouble for doing this.

Instead, call a Hoffman Estates, IL child custody attorney at 847.873.6741 to schedule your free consultation with The Law Office of Nicholas W. Richardson, P.C.. With many years of experience in family law, we can help you figure out this difficult situation and protect your children’s best interests.