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Tips for Helping Your Adult Children Cope With Your Illinois Divorce
The divorce rate among those over 50 has skyrocketed in the past several years compared to decades ago. This is partly due to the fact that people are living longer in general, and they want to enjoy the time they have left instead of being in a toxic or loveless relationship. In addition, many couples who are unhappy may put off filing for divorce until their kids are grown. They think their children may be better equipped to handle the news later in life. However, this is not always realistic. Although younger kids may have a more difficult time understanding the reasons why mom and dad are splitting up, older children may suffer just as much emotional trauma. Questioning everything they thought to be true, older kids may have trouble accepting their parents' divorce.
Honesty Is the Best Policy
Telling your children that you and your spouse are getting a divorce is not going to be easy, even if you both came to the decision mutually after careful consideration. If you went to marriage counseling over the years, your kids may still be shocked at the news. Although they may have suspected you had problems, deep down they had hoped for a reconciliation and a long future together.
How Has COVID-19 Affected Parenting Orders in Illinois?
During the past year, the COVID-19 pandemic has changed the way we live. While many businesses shuttered temporarily to stop the spread of the highly contagious virus, other companies have allowed their employees to work remotely from home. Likewise, many school districts have switched to online learning, so more people are home now than they would be normally. Some divorced parents are finding their income significantly reduced if their position was eliminated completely and they had to file for unemployment. With such a disruption to everyone's regular routines, you may be wondering if you can modify your existing divorce orders, including child support, parenting time, and child custody. Under Illinois law, you can amend these types of orders depending on the circumstances.
Child-Related Issues
Continuing to find ways to support your children after you get divorced can be very challenging, especially if you and your ex-spouse do not see eye to eye on certain matters. Illinois law requires divorcing parents to come to an agreement on the allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody) and parenting time (visitation). This parenting plan also includes who will have the authority to make decisions about the children's educational opportunities and extracurricular activities such as sports, music, or theater. If the parents cannot reach an agreement, a judge will make decisions based on several factors, including the financial status of the spouses and the well-being of the children.
3 Important Tips for Dads During Divorce
In today's world, there is no such thing as a “typical” divorce. There are many ways a couple can end their marriage, and the outcomes will vary depending on the needs of each family. Some families are still traditional in the sense that the mother is the primary caregiver and is the one who spends the most time with the children. In other families, fathers are much more involved in the daily responsibilities of raising their children, which can cause tension and stress when it comes to making child-centered decisions during a divorce.
Though the law states that mothers and fathers should be treated equally, fathers are sometimes still seen as “second-class” parents, and some dads feel that they are not given the same consideration as mothers when it comes to issues such as parenting time. Divorce can be difficult for everyone, but its negative effects may be especially worrisome for fathers. Here are a few tips to help dads aim for success during and after a divorce:
How to Divide Retirement Funds During Your Illinois Divorce
Most couples will experience some sort of conflict during a divorce. For many couples, the asset division process is one of the topics that bring about the most conflict. Prevailing during this process is important, because it can determine how financially stable you are after the divorce, and it can also affect your finances into the future. For many people, their retirement savings are among their most valuable assets.
In Illinois, retirement funds are considered to be marital property as long as they were acquired during the marriage. Marital assets may include individual retirement accounts, non-qualified plans, defined contribution plans and accounts, and pension benefits. These retirement funds must be divided between divorcing spouses, which can become tricky. In most cases, this is done using a Qualified Domestic Relations Order or QDRO.
4 Ways to Protect Your Children During Your Illinois Divorce
Couples get divorced for many reasons. Maybe you and your spouse have realized that you are two very different people who want very different things. Maybe you still love each other, but you have grown apart. Or, maybe some other type of conflict has occurred, such as infidelity or financial issues. Whatever the reason for the divorce might be, you and your spouse will probably not be on the best of terms.
Unfortunately, couples often experience contentious divorces, and issues involving children are often some of the most difficult matters to resolve. Sometimes, children can be caught in the crossfire of marital conflicts. However, there are a few things you can to help protect your children as much as possible during your divorce.
#1: Do Not Fight in Front of the Children
One of the most detrimental things children can experience is to witness their parents constantly fighting and arguing. High levels of conflict can create a sense of tension and unhappiness in the home, and this can manifest negatively in children. Kids who observe their parents' arguments are more prone to behavioral problems and emotional issues. During your divorce, you should do your best to avoid arguing in front of your children, and you should not force them to take sides or ask them to relay messages between you and your spouse.
What Expenses Can Be Added to Basic Child Support Obligations in Illinois?
Everyone knows that raising children can be expensive. The costs of food, clothing, toys, and other needs can add up quickly. In fact, it is now estimated that the average cost of raising and supporting a child to age 18 is around $233,610, according to a 2017 U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) study. While this may not seem to all that much when spread out over 18 years, it can still be difficult for one parent to pay for all of the costs of raising a child. This is why child support is typically ordered in cases in which parents are divorced or separated, ensuring that both parents are responsible for financially providing for a child's needs.
Extra Costs of Raising a Child
In Illinois, a basic child support obligation is typically determined during a divorce case, and this is meant to account for all of the child's basic needs, such as food, clothing, and housing. However, any parent knows that there are many more expenses involved in raising a child. With this in mind, Illinois law also has provisions to account for other child-related expenses, such as:
Will I Have to Pay Spousal Maintenance in My Illinois Divorce?
When you are facing the possibility of a divorce, you are likely to have many questions. Where will you live? Who will get the furniture? How will you share parenting responsibilities for your children? All of these, of course, are very valid questions. Many who are considering a divorce may also wonder if they will be ordered to pay alimony—known as “spousal maintenance” under Illinois law. If you are headed for a divorce, it is important to understand how maintenance-related decisions are made in Illinois.
A Brief Background
Spousal maintenance, in general, is intended to help minimize the effects of a divorce on a spouse who is at a comparative financial disadvantage. In previous generations, alimony payments were practically standard in most divorce cases, because a significant percentage of households relied on the income of just one spouse—most often the husband. Meanwhile, the other spouse—most often the wife—usually worked substantially less, if she worked at all. Instead, her primary role was to maintain the family home and care for the couple's children.
What Are the Differences Between Legal Separation and Divorce in Illinois?
Couples who are considering getting a divorce have another option besides permanently dissolving their marriages. For some couples, a divorce is necessary and in their best interests, but for others, a legal separation may be a better solution. Legal separation shares some similarities with divorce, but it has certain differences, as well as some unique benefits.
Legal Separation Basics
In legal separation cases, a couple who is no longer living together has the option to make arrangements for property division and parental responsibilities without actually filing for divorce. The couple will remain legally married, and thus cannot remarry until a formal divorce has been finalized; however, each spouse will be granted certain rights, protections, and privileges when it comes to debts, assets, and children. Additionally, maintenance and child support concerns are typically discussed during legal separation proceedings. Couples may choose to divide marital property during the proceedings, but they can also delay these negotiations until a formal divorce is filed.
How to Protect Your Parenting Time Rights in Illinois
There are a wide variety of reasons why you and your child's other parent may not live in the same home. Following your break-up or divorce, you and the other parent will need to develop a cooperative parenting plan that outlines each of your responsibilities regarding your child. As part of your plan, you will also need to include direction over the time that each of you will get to spend with your child. Once known as visitation, the law in Illinois now refers to this as parenting time and recognizes the importance of quality parenting time in helping to foster a strong relationship between the child and both parents.
Get It in Writing and Get It Approved
If you are or were married to the other parent, Illinois law mandates that your divorce agreement will need to account for your child. The court will not enter a finalized divorce judgment until there is an approved parenting plan in place or, if necessary, an order for the allocation of parental responsibilities has been issued.
Can I Get More Marital Property Instead of Maintenance in My Divorce?
If you are facing the possibility of a divorce, you and your spouse will need to address a number of important considerations along the way. For example, one or both of you will likely need to find someplace to live. If the two of you have children together, a parenting plan will need to be developed that includes arrangements for the allocation of parental responsibilities and each parent's parenting time. Simply adjusting to everyday life as a single person is likely to present challenges in and of itself. However, many of the most difficult concerns in any divorce tend to focus on a couple's finances, including how their marital property will be split and whether either spouse should expect spousal support payments.
Property Division and Maintenance Considerations
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5) provides that decisions about money and property in an Illinois divorce are to be made based on the circumstances of each unique case. If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse cannot come to a settlement agreement, it will be up to the court to identify and divide the marital estate, as well as to decide if there is a need for spousal support – known in the law as “maintenance.” In making these decisions, a family court judge is required by law to consider a variety of factors related to each. Such factors include:
Introducing The Law Office of Nicholas W. Richardson
Nicholas W. Richardson is an experienced divorce lawyer and mediator whose comprehensive legal knowledge, commitment to clients and reputation for results bring lasting solutions to your problems.
The Law Office of Nicholas W. Richardson, P.C. serves clients in Illinois cities such as Palatine, Schaumburg, Inverness, Arlington Heights, Rolling Meadows, Glenview, Hoffman Estates, Bartlett, Des Plaines, Elk Grove Village, Mt. Prospect, Niles, Prospect Heights, Skokie, Streamwood, Barrington, Buffalo Grove, Wheeling, and others throughout Cook County, DuPage County, McHenry County, and Kane County.
Results listed are not a guarantee or indication of future case results.
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847.873.6741
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